On November 22 2007 at 11:00pm there was a a really bad car crash that has closed Highway 420. A taxi driver hit a car's front end just missing the driver's door. Nearly killing a mother of 2. the mother has been rushed to the hospital. The responding police officer had this to say " when i got to the secen i thought that they woman was not going to make it out alive"The fireman said this to say " the taxi driver ran a stop sign and hit the mother's car." "I say he was going fater then 150km"the police officer said. So I ask myself why did the taxi driver run the stop sign and hit the poor woman's car? "It was dark out and my breaks locked up and befor i knew it i plowed right into her car". said the taxi driver. The parimedics at the scene say that the mother should be ok she just has to speed a week in the hospital.
written by: Kelly Guertin
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Hi Kelly,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say how impressed I've been lately with all your hard work. I'm going to try to help you learn to edit your own work and then you won't even need me anymore.
I'm pasting your article below, but an edited version. I'd like you to compare my version of your report with the earlier version. See if you can figure out where I made changes and why. Ask me in class about any you are unsure of.
Have a great Weekend!
CP
Car Crash Closes Highway!
On November 22, 2007 at 11:00pm a really bad car crash closed Highway 420 at Stanley Avenue. A taxi driver hit another car's front end, just missing the driver's door and nearly killing a mother of 2. The mother was rushed to the hospital. The responding police officer had this to say "when I got to the scene, I thought that the woman was not going to make it out alive."
A fireman said "the taxi driver ran a stop sign and hit the mother's car."
"I say he was going faster than 150km per hour," the police officer added.
When asked why the taxi driver ran the stop sign and hit the woman's car, he said, "It was dark out and my breaks locked up and before I knew it I plowed right into her car." The paramedics at the scene say that the mother should be ok, she just has to spend a week in the hospital.
**I think I made about 10 (or so) small corrections. It was good before, it's really good now.
thanks Mr.P I see how the changes make it better to follow :)
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